I Thought I Was Lazy. I Was Just Lost

Jul 06, 2026

As a child, I would always skip studying after school.

I couldn’t bring myself to do any of the work necessary at all, even 10 minutes of studying felt like a chore.

I simply opened up YouTube shorts, watched a movie or did anything other than being productive.

Eventually after I finished school, I decided to take a gap year to focus on retiring my mother, who would come home from her 9-5 exhausted.

All of the sudden like a workaholic, I started to work 8-14 hour days.

I studied YouTube relentlessly and learnt everything related to building a YouTube channel.

I finally found myself being productive.

After a few years of working on my business, I made more money than I ever thought was possible, and retired my mother.

However as I’m working now, I really can’t bring myself to work more than 4-6 hours at a time.

I did the bare minimum to post a video, and then I would procrastinate.

Even more YouTube shorts, more movies and anime.

It felt exactly like school.

Eventually I got my first girlfriend.

Until we broke up.

Then I decided to chase the goal of becoming a millionaire.

All of the sudden, I started working or thinking about work most of my waking time.

I stopped endlessly consuming and went deeper into my goals.

Looking back, I don’t think I was ever lazy.

I called myself lazy every time I lost a meaningful goal.

School was never my goal, so I never worked towards it.

When I found a meaningful goal, I worked harder than I ever thought possible.

So ask yourself.

What meaningful goal am I pursuing right now?

I still procrastinate sometimes.

But I’m aware when I do.

And now, Instead of asking.

Why am I so lazy?

I ask myself

Am moving towards something meaningful right now?