I Thought I Was Shy. I Was in the Wrong Environment
Looking back, I just hadn’t found the right environment.
For most of my life, I believed I was a quiet person.
I kept to myself.
I rarely started conversations.
I assumed that was simply my personality.
Looking back...
I don’t think I knew myself at all.
Then I went to South Africa.
On my first evening, my father and I stopped at a small restaurant.
What was supposed to be a five-minute conversation with another couple...
turned into four hours.
The conversation flowed so naturally that I barely noticed the sun setting.
For the first time in a long time...
I wasn’t thinking about what to say.
I was simply curious.
Later that evening, something else happened.
As I walked up to pay, an older man tapped me on the shoulder.
He smiled.
Shook my hand.
Started asking me questions.
My first reaction was surprise.
In Sweden...
strangers rarely do that.
Here...
it felt completely normal.
The culture wasn’t quieter or louder.
It was simply different.
And somehow...
I was different too.
The rest of the trip felt the same.
I spoke to cashiers.
People at gas stations.
Older couples.
Complete strangers.
Not because I was forcing myself.
Because I genuinely wanted to.
By the end of the trip...
I had probably talked more in two weeks than I had in the previous two years.
That’s when I realized something.
Maybe I wasn’t shy.
Maybe I’d simply spent years in an environment that never invited that part of me out.
The person I thought I was...
might only have been the person my surroundings allowed me to become.
Looking back
When I came home, I started talking to more people.
Some conversations were awkward.
Others weren’t.
But I stopped asking,
“Why am I so shy?”
Instead I started asking,
“What kind of environment brings out the best in me?”
Sometimes we spend years trying to change ourselves...
when what really needs to change...
is where we are.