I Thought My Parents Chose Work Over Me
The older I got, the more I understood them.
Growing up, I started resenting my parents.
I thought they chose work over me.
Every time they said they were too tired...
I started wondering if they even wanted to spend time with me.
It wasn’t until years later that I realized...
I became exactly like them.
My father is a teacher and my mother works at a hotel in another city…
Most of the time, I come home from school alone.
And I start playing video games or watching social media alone…
Every time I hear my parents come home, I greet them…
But they tell me they’re too tired to play.
Not today, Alex. Sorry.
I tell myself that I understand. But a part of me feels like they don’t want to spend time with me.
Why are they spending so much time at work, and so little time with me?
When I was way younger, they would spend all their time on me…
What changed?
…
I hear the door open, I don’t react…
I’m just going to ignore them when they come home, not even ask.
I will just play video games by myself…
Then one day...
I stopped looking at what my parents weren’t doing...
and started noticing what they were going through.
…
And my mother especially, is struggling quite a bit at work…
She leaves before the sun comes up.
She comes home after it goes down.
Her smile looked the same...
but her body didn’t.
She comes home, but instead of ignoring them. I run down…
Mammi, when I’m 18. You will never have to work again!
…
I didn’t know how.
But I promised myself...
One day I’d help them.
…
Years later...
I spent fourteen hours a day making videos.
My wrists hurt.
My family asked me to watch movies.
To go out to dinner.
To spend time together.
Every answer was the same.
Sorry... I have to work.
…
I have deleted almost all my friend off social media.
I’m only focused on work, and then when I’m done, I just feel so tired.
Alex, would you come spend time with us?
Sorry, have to work.
Okay. Have fun.
…
I hope they understand that I’m doing it for them.
But now I notice, I have less time with the family.
Then one evening...
I looked up from my computer.
My wrists hurt.
I was exhausted.
I hadn’t spent time with my family in weeks.
And for the first time...
I understood them.
…
The thing I thought they cared about more than me...
was me.
…
I spent years thinking work was taking my parents away from me.
I never realized...
Work was the way they loved me.
…
The most time I ever spent away from my family...
was when I cared about them the most.
…
Every hour they sacrificed...
became another opportunity for me and my sister.
…
As children...
we judge love by presence.
As adults...
we realize that sometimes love looks like sacrifice.
I didn’t understand my parents because I’d never lived their life.
Sometimes life doesn’t teach us by explaining.
It teaches us by making us become the person we once misunderstood.